The Great Closet Clean Out Begins // Hospital Stay

Dress: Dragonfly Fit & Flare Dress by Unique Vintage x GB (size XL) via Gwynnie Bee

Cardigan: North Crest (size S), thrifted 

Tights: Snag

Shoes: Born, thrifted

Earrings: former Etsy shop

Necklace & Bracelets: Vintage

Photography: Super Boo & Me

Stats: 5'7" 38-32-45

I'm not sure why I keep getting these dresses...some of the prints are cute & they fit well...but I'm not into dragonflies. Also, they are crying out for pockets. Nothing is wrong with this dress...it just wasn't exciting to me. But, a fine work dress. 

I'm slowly building up my new cardigan collection each time I visit a thrift store. It made me happy not to have to wear a solid cardigan with this outfit...pattern mixing brings me joy. 

I got 2 compliments on this necklace from older men. Strange. This might be my first time wearing it? 

My make-up with this outfit included...Urban Decay eyeliner in Roxy; Bud, Hold 'em, Whiskey, & Standoff eyeshadow from UD; Becca lipliner in Blissful; MAC lipliner in Auburn; Head in the Clouds lipstick by MAC; & OPI nail polish in Blue My Mind. 

Some new Heidi Daus earrings from eBay. They are clip-on, which I don't love...but they were a great price. Look at this fun Laguiole cutlery set David got us for picnics. If you make this photo bigger, you can see their silly message on the side of the box cover...Life Is Cool, So Must Be Your Tool. And then one day, I woke up...& I was ready to tackle my enormous closet full of clothes that no longer fit. I decided to begin with my solid color cardigans. And my reward was finding a box of Fluevogs that was hidden underneath them that I forgot I had. All those empty hangers represent cardigans that have left my closet for good. 

6 trash bags destined for Vinny's. And 3 tubs that I took pictures of & am slowly putting up on Poshmark. I'm not really sure it's worth all the work...however, it is incredibly fun when I buy something on there & it's "free" because I have a balance from selling. Every time I buy a record at a concert...I've been storing it in the closet...I finally boxed them up to go downstairs...waiting for when our record player is set up. New Fluevogs! I can't resist a sale. I've been in love with these since I first saw them...that jacquard fabric *swoon*. 

And then my story takes a turn for the worse. It is long & frustrating & I just want to get it out. Feel free to skip. I had a hard lump in my abdomen that hurt when I pushed on it. I worried about it for 2 days...then decided to go to urgent care because I had a busy week & wanted to stop thinking about it. I had written to my doctors in Mexico & they assured me it was normal swelling...but...I'm a worrier. After waiting at urgent care for nearly 3 hours...the very nice doctor told me how frustrated she was that my case hadn't been triaged better. They did not have the equipment there to image me. So, she suggested I go to the ER. And I oh, so, foolishly did. Monday: I was shuffled around the busy ER...they decided to do an MRI & CT scan on me to determine what the protrusion in my abdomen might be caused by & to look for DVT (deep venous thrombus) in my legs since they were swollen. I was told I had 2 pockets of fluid & they wanted to put drains in me. They also put me on an IV antibiotic. I asked if I had an infection, but they said it was just as a preventative. I asked them to culture it, but I was told that would happen when they put the drain in. They couldn't quite get the IV right in me. All those covered areas are the places they tried, unsuccessfully, to stick me in once I was admitted to the hospital. What?! Why was I admitted to the hospital?! I don't know. I asked not to be. I was told the team couldn't put the drains in until the next day. I asked if I could go home & come back tomorrow with an appointment for the procedure. No. I asked if I could leave...& was told it would be AMA, so my insurance wouldn't cover me & I'd be sent the bill. So, with those threats...I went along with it. All I really wanted was for them to tell me if I had an infection. I wasn't allowed to go to sleep until after 2:30 in the morning, & then I was rudely woken up an hour later by a nurse, painfully & unsuccessfully, trying to stick another IV in my arm. Also, every night the respiratory nurse came in to ask me questions about my CPAP & try to get me to use theirs. They allowed me to say no, but kept coming back anyway. Tuesday: I am so very tired of telling everyone my name & birthday. Do you seen that bracelet on my wrist? That's who I am. And the constant testing of my perfectly normal blood pressure & all the other useless procedures. 6 am, a person from my surgery team came to talk to me...she said they would probably get me in this morning & that I'd most likely be able to go home afterward. I waited. This entire day was terrible & frustrating. The communication at that hospital is the most horrific I've ever witnessed. Not just to me, the patient, but within & between departments. I was told a different answer every time I asked. One of my surgical team came into my room (the one thing I'd be waiting for), however, I was on the phone with the pharmacy who was making me tell them my medications. Without exaggeration, I had already told about a dozen people that information since arriving AND it's in my record. Also, I had missed an entire day of taking my meds because they didn't have them ready for me & they wouldn't let David bring me mine from home. So, the doctor I most wanted to talk to left. I waited 3 hours...still nothing. I had to ask my nurse, are they going to come back & talk to me? She said she would get a message to them. Some of the team came in to talk to me about putting the drains in. I asked 2 of them, would I be able to go home today? They said they wouldn't know until after the drains were in place. I asked a third person the same question & she told me no, they will want to keep me overnight for observation. After so many failed IV attempts, the IV team was called in. He got the needle in & it seemed to go well...however, an hour later my arm had a golf ball size lump that felt like it was on fire...that shot up my arm to my shoulder blade & down to my fingers. The pain was at a 10 for ~1/2 an hour after they removed the IV...slowly going down. What happened? I don't fully know. All I was told was that the IV antibiotic got into my system & caused the burning. I was told they were going to inject me with something for the pain. 2 hours later I was still alone, whimpering in my room (when I'm in pain, it helps me to make noise). I called the nurse, who eventually came back 2 1/2 hours later. No one had come to check on me in that time or let me know what was happening. She said she'd been waiting on the pharmacy to get the meds to her...5 needles. I told her, at this point, the worst of it is over & I didn't wish to be injected 5 times. However, my arm still hurt. Was my arm going to continue to hurt? Another member of the IV team came in & reinserted the needle in my other arm. I could barely feel it, it was amazing. The day ticked by...no team showed up to take me to surgery. No update was ever given. I was far worse off than when I came in. The day before, I was not in any pain unless I pressed hard on my abdomen. On this day...I hurt all over. I had been wearing compression garments since my surgery, but they wouldn't let me wear those in the hospital because they needed access to poke & prod me constantly. So that caused extra swelling, which made things hurt. Doctors & residents popped by every once in a while to look at parts of my naked body. No one ever asked permission to bring a group of people into my room to gawk at me. Why were they looking at me? My issue was internal, why did they need to see anything under my hospital gown? Why didn't I speak up?  I know it's a teaching hospital & none of this is for my care...but shouldn't it be? I was on a no food order. Late afternoon came & I paged my nurse...when are they coming to get me? She said she would get a message to them to find out, but it was getting late. She finally let me know...I'd been bumped from the surgery teams schedule. Maybe they'd get to me tomorrow? Why wasn't I told this information? I had been anxiously hopefully waiting all day. David came to visit me after work, which was the bright spot in my day. I was tired & crabby & just wanted to go home. Can I go home & come back tomorrow? No. I felt like I was being held hostage & had no control over what I did or what was done to me. I lost it. I started sobbing & told the nurse, I just want to go home...I don't feel safe here. She listened, but there was nothing she could do. I finally asked her...isn't there anyone on my side? Do you have a patient relations person? She gave me their phone number, but no one answered. I did not feel safe at this hospital. Or listened to. Or informed of anything that was going on. No one could answer the question...why am I here? I wanted to go home Monday night with an appointment to come back whenever they could fit me in. I had been there all day for no reason. They don't even know if I have an infection as they refuse to test it until they put the drains in. And the entire reason I went to urgent care, the protrusion & discomfort in my abdomen, didn't really show up on the tests, so they were ignoring that & focusing on the pockets of liquid on each side...which I expect was just NORMAL swelling from surgery. My nurse was lovely & told me to fill out the survey honestly when they sent it to me because, "it's not supposed to be this way." I told her, I haven't eaten since Sunday night...why am I still not able to eat? She said she'd get ahold of my doctor to ask. By the time she heard back, it was too late to have David make anything & bring it to me. I could have ordered off the hospital menu, but I didn't really want to eat terrible food that wasn't good for me. Still tired. Still hungry. The night nurse came on & said he called the IV team in to put another IV in me. What?! Why?! Not again. I refused. He said my antibiotic & electrolyte fluid were not compatible. I had had one IV this whole time & those are the two things I'd been given. Together. I questioned why the two had been compatible for the last 24 hours. He looked into it & discovered they changed my electrolyte fluid. I inquired...this one doesn't have any sugar in it, does it (I asked this about the last one too). He read the bag & said no, just dextrose (I think that was the one), which I don't think is the same as sugar. I was like...ummmm, yes it is. I got up to look at the bag myself & googled it. Yes. The solution they were pumping into me had 200g carbohydrates a liter. I am a known diabetic & specifically asked to not be given anything to spike my blood sugar as I control it through diet & don't inject insulin. No one asked me. No one told me. I asked to immediately have it stopped & returned to the other one. More time spent crying & feeling unsafe. Wednesday: I finally got my drains in! Just as a friend was on her way to visit...so it was a good thing we planned that or I might still be waiting. All went seamlessly there. Back in my room, my blood sugar was in the 70s, totally normal for me since it had been nearly 3 days since I last ate. I was on NO medication to lower my blood sugar, so there was no danger of my body letting me go too low. I know my body. They kept trying to make me drink apple juice, which I refused. To be annoying...they started checking my blood glucose every 15 minutes. I asked if I could do it myself (it hurt when they poked my finger)...but of course I couldn't. When it hit 69 they completely lost it. I'm not sure what they were going to do...IV apple juice? So, I capitulated & ordered off the hospital menu...even though David was bringing me a smoked salmon spinach salad in just over an hour. They have shockingly little real food (sugar free pudding? That is not food) that is low carb. I ordered grilled salmon with mustard sauce. It should have absolutely given you the macros for everything on the menu. They had an apple icon next to the healthy choices, which they thought included tacos, graham crackers, buttered noodles, white rice, refried beans, & dinner rolls. Did I mention they asked me if I wanted to talk to a dietician while I was there? No thanks. I also ordered an Asian salad with chicken that I had to pick the wontons off of. The food was...fine...they overcooked the salmon, but it was still edible & at least that choice was available. All the rest of the low carb options sounded like punishment. David came with a delicious nutritious salad made with wintered farmers' market spinach...yum. I was told on this morning that I would most likely go home today & after surgery I was told (still in the OR) there was a 98% chance. Back in my room my nurse let me know they updated my release date to today in my chart. 4 hours went by & no one came to talk to me, so I called my nurse. David was wondering if he should go home & come back...or wait. The nurse got ahold of the surgical team who let her know that they've known since surgery that I would need to spend another night (who updated my chart?!). They needed to give me an IV to help one of my drains drain better. But not today. So I dared get my hopes up that this nightmare was over. A third night in the hospital. Again, I inquired as to why? Thursday: Will I be able to go home today? I'd been awake since 4:15 when my nursing assistant told me she'd need to get my weight when I got out of bed...as I lay there stressing about that, my nurse came in to change my antibiotic IV bag & he let me know that he can run the IV they need for me to be able to leave, however, they weren't clear if they wanted one or both drains done (they told me only one yesterday)...so he needs to wait for them to get in. This hospital needs communication training. I was so tired of standing up for myself & having to question every thing. It's exhausting. And because it's the midwest AND I'm a woman...I'm looked at as being difficult & non-compliant. Every question is answered with, it's hospital policy or your doctor ordered it. Did I ever even know or meet *my* doctor? Probably...but I was given 2 different names & I never did know who either of them was...I'm sure they were the doctor's that paraded in the groups of residents. I've been asked to step on a scale every day I've been here. I've refused with the exception of the day before since I thought it might be important for sedation purposes. The bed has a scale built in...they could have kept track of it there. I don't want to know how much I weigh. I certainly don't need to know how much I weigh on this day compared to the day before. This having no control & meaningless hoops that they ask you to jump through repeatedly...it was messing with my head. No one treated me like I mattered. Day nurse came in & let me know they had just told her 1 drain needed the medication. Two women from the surgery team came in with the IV. They did both drains. After sitting for an hour, fluid poured out of me...it was very satisfying. I asked my nurse when I'd be discharged & to please give me an hour warning so my husband had time to get there. She later came in & said...you can go. After all this time. Just go. Luckily, by then, we knew how this place operated...so David was already there. I've never been so happy to walk out the door. The entire experience was horrible & traumatic. Lesson learned? Your health is up to you & unless there is a bone snapped in half & sticking out of my skin...I'm staying home.